1. When confronted with a choice to go out or stay home, what do you usually do?
a) that depends. Was it an RSVP on Facebook thing? If so, I’ll totally click “attending” and then not go.
b) depends again. Was it my idea?
c) reject the situation, find the elusive third option, and support peoples’ suspicion that you’re really just a jackass
d) not applicable. I’ve burned bridges with most people who would invite me out anyway.
e) I guess I pull out my smart phone first and look at my calendar. Still perfecting the art of looking like a jackass.
2. Assume you do go out. What’s a conversation like with you?
a) well I probably didn’t start it, and really I’m more likely to be clinging to the one or two people I actually know. Screw having a conversation.
b) eye contact is out, and my drink goes fast.
c) look, this is all just recollection okay? If I picked this answer, I probably picked ‘d’ in the previous question. (If I didn’t pick ‘d,’ it’s strange that I’m picking this answer now, considering the self-awareness of it all).
d) do you ever wonder how many people pick a, b, or c just to avoid having to read too much?
e) you know that “Puck Man” speach Scott Pilgrim gives? That, but with a hint less hipster.