Category Archives: Tutoring

Adventures in Tutoring

Today, the student that I’ve been tutoring the past few years busted out the Haikubes and did a little poetry. This guy is way faster than I am, having produced three in the time it took me to make one. But anyway, here they are:

Student (1):

Hot greased doctor. That
dripping water. He never
looks any noodle.

I’m not entirely sure what it means to not “look any noodle,” but something tells me I’m glad that doctors don’t.

Student (2):

Many wise muck went
between my salty doctor
for a swell surface.

There’s something quite provocative about this one. How exactly did the muck go between the doctor to produce a surface of any kind? Is the doctor salty because of his prior greasing?

Student (3):

Sneaky Shady ran
between ravenous seas across
my sweet dancing ground.

This one is just awesome, so awesome that we’ll ignore the extra syllable in the second line. At this point, he was fully intent on the mission of producing solid haikus, and my only regret was that the session had to end immediately after this one.

Mine:

Cover his eyes here
before my ugly partner
whispers smooth thunder.

Yep, it took me all that time just to produce this guy. Stupid overthinking.

Adventures in Tutoring

Hi. I haven’t posted in a while. Sorry.

So, I’ve been tutoring this kid for a couple years. The other day I was encouraging my student to do some writing, so I decided to write with him to teach by example and keep from distracting him.

So I asked him to give me a prompt. Now, he has learned that Batman is kinda my favorite, because . . . well, he’s the Goddamn Batman and he runs around Batmanning the hell out of Gotham City. What’s not to like?

My kid though, he’s a Spider-Man fan, so he tell me I have to write an essay about how Batman sucks. Here it is, reproduced in its entirety for your enjoyment (Warning: leave your rational brain out of this, please). Continue reading