Tag Archives: Flarf

Sternest Meanings

Here’s some Flarf. Source material here.
———————————————–

How’s it going, you terriblebitter loner?

I hate the show “What Not to Wear”
It’s basically asyllabic.

Or monosyllabic, you loyal snob.

My misspellings are helping the anagrams,
but sheepish gremlins pig mentally.
I fed them nachos after midnight.
The high-flier despises healthy semen.
Odder rottenness stinkers.
Maturity woman-hater hotheads.
Agitate appal anus. Rent sets.
I couldn’t find “appal” in my dictionary.
Are you making up words to beat me?Fouled-up, incompliant rainy day.
I’m an artistic, down-market goodbye.


You’re leaving me?
The Great Satan?
Earth stagnate?
Infertile wasteland?
Do you want me to turn on the air conditioner?
White-hot, unodious, mad twit.

You pirate’s moth-eaten nurturer.
You cretinoid.

 
I am the neater younger. I am
the swooning thuggery inebriation.

Well, it is Friday
you wasp-like, young,
eager young man. Rent sets.
Rent just cleared the bank this afternoon
you stealthy, nasty, encumbered jerk.

You obturate, weepy, toughish mutterer,
songlike practical application.

Endanger fat-witted hullaballoos
with a prenatal pistol-whip.

Palpitate to this rotten whiplash.
I am the crazed blow-out womanizer.


I feel like you’re inherently sexist,
an eerily hero-like, funny elitist sexist.

That is simply nonsense. You’re skirting the issue.
I may tweet about this later,
the wittiest, amoral beauty.
And you, the hypocrite’s adulterate deviation.
You, the penetrative, stodgiest of sphincters.

You hoodwink the filthy in ethylene hubs.
I hear that’s popular in airport bathrooms.


Dirt-cheap high treason hesitates
with you, the odorous ultra-patriot,

the cheap boobification of the heavy-hearted devil,
the off-broadway ovations.

I am an unpretty, a white-hot monkery,
a famously ethylene adoration.

I am a thrilled heat rash to retardation.

I am the tameable gunk agitator.

I am pliantly error-free blisters.

I am hot sores.

The emails: spamscams

Because I was brought up,
a house, a baby without a mother,
married to my husband who died
between 20 years and terms of life,
we lived in London, in the motor accident.

My husband was London, and was fatal.
And I who decided that I didn’t marry again
from his death sold a possession
succeeded to of all of me
and deposited all money in London

This money was still a bank
and I didn’t operate a description
for a disease for a long time now.

The emails: spamscams

Friend that dear,

I am Emelia, Mrs. Brown.
I put on the damage by time.

It is 68 years old, and
a cancer of the lungs–

which similarly affected
my condition from my brain–

by all indications really
deteriorates me from U.S.A.

The reason is because
the stage which is elaborate

and doesn’t tear off
told me that I mustn’t live

for the next two months.
According to my doctor,

I arrived at the stage
which isn’t very good.

The emails: spamscams

This email uses a company statement above and an invitation to
negotiate
I take several years and we accumulated very valuable experience of
our business
and we are proud of what we insist unless we are inferior to that
thing
We look for the reliable people which can act as a position of our
customer
and the receiving payment agent which will act as a position of the
media reach
among us in an area of a district you have exclusive relations with
one another

Build-It-Yourself Solar Panel Guides

It is the solar panel guide,
which is easier than you may think.
Build it to make house
energy solution of your own.

As for the better thing, these,
guiding it is it to be able to be found
easily online.
All which is demanded from you

is voluntary will.
To bring these guides
for a little good use of heavy labor,
you build a solar panel system

of your own from one of the guides
who are these uses first by a beginning;
if is ready, as for the best method to begin,
there is a system for your finance,

and little studies to find.
Whether it is necessary,
it is suitable of energy.
Fortunately, there are a lot of big websites

and a lot of reliable information
to offer a useful review too,
if you need a small light person stab.
A package of education, probably,

to get up with video instructions
of one step one step,
whether you are a DIY beginner
is the best thing you put together.

These videos are ideal
if you often are just begun
by a lot of corners,
so that you can watch

all who need it, whom you know.
Nothing is left for imagination.
Similarly, I am big;
most better guides delete

an unconditional repayment guarantee
and when it thinks about many products
not having such a guarantee
because of too much in a house energy market.

It (Please be careful about it)
is a guarantee of quality of I mark.
If you work on a budget, build yourself.
A solar panel guide offers information

about how a project should be reduced.
Actually, these guides offer value
to balance with, really, either expenditure.
When they think about that

commercial solution of 2000,
that system resembles tens of thousands of dollars,
and, therefore, you can break your bank
if you search the best business for a part!

Besides, I auction off online services,
and it can be bought on eBay,
and other reliable retailers, easily.
An item such as the the other photovoltaic cell

that it can be found in your local hardware store,
most of these components. Energy bills
of your every month got together,
and it was able to be reduced

as soon as you installed solar panel
of a house of your own. I succeeded
in enlarging a system; that was enough.
He brought the basic knowledge

that increased and though I completely went
to the use that some people were good,
I am supported by excellence,
and please make a solar panel guide

in yourself, and you can
finally use energy of the sun
without driving it into bankruptcy.
Thus please begin what you wait for today!

The emails

VII.

I will keep it by these, but there is a boot near.
I think that a jacket in a wedding ceremony
will be too just citified, a white shirt, a pin.

Please put a Johnny Reb worker, the cigarette
below! And I can’t smoke between ceremonies!
I said that it was poor that he was accompanied

between sermons. If we should have been able
to postpone a wedding ceremony between
another two months, the bridegroom would

save enough money for one pair of black shoes.
I said that his tennis shoes held was black,
trimming it in him. It is good enough.

The emails

VI.

A wedding ceremony of a year,
I introduce a wedding reception:

As for the people looking splendid
with a handsome horsekeeper first,

there is no it in Thailand red,
black-tie Thailand, caring for

Mass confusion, all which I understood.
Let’s equal one line for a photograph.

Let’s look… where should we do so?
I crawl! I am perfect! Please move fast,

how about all! In the immediate other side,
before a garage, it will be destructive!